bailey

Bailey reviews the humans

It’s spring, which means it’s performance review season. I’ve been watching Mum and Dad closely, and I think it’s only fair they get some feedback.

Dad

Walks: Excellent. Dad is reliable. He has the lead in his hand before we’ve even finished barking about it. He also lets me sniff things for as long as I need, which is very long, because sniffing is how dogs read the newspaper.

Throwing: Strong arm. Maggie would give him five stars. I don’t care much about throwing, but I respect the effort.

Areas for improvement: Dad keeps saying “Bailey, come” at the park right when I’ve found a zoomies friend my size. Dad, I will come. After the lap. Maybe two laps.

Overall: Four and a half bones out of five. Good Dad.

Mum

Cuddles: Best in class. Nobody does couch o’clock like Mum. She knows exactly where to scratch behind my ears, and she doesn’t move when I lean on her, even when I lean a lot.

Voice: Mum has a special voice just for us. It’s high and soft and it says “who’s my good boy?” The answer is me. I’m the good boy.

Areas for improvement: Mum sometimes gets up from the couch to do “jobs.” We don’t understand jobs, and we’d like there to be fewer of them.

Overall: Five bones out of five. Would cuddle again.

Summary

Both humans are keepers. We’re happy to extend their contracts for another year, with a small increase in treats.

Maggie wanted to add a review, but she just wrote “BALL” and then licked the keyboard. So I think we’re done here.